The older I get, the more I realize I understand much less than I thought I did. When I was 21, I had an answer for everything, but then I lived some life and I have realized that what I “knew” were idealistic conjectures, only relevant in a utopian society, if at all. All of my solutions to problems were seen through my lens and based on my personal (very limited) life experiences. I still have my own lens and life experiences, but what has evolved over time is my ability to accept that my way is not the only way.
For example, Aubrey and I have this conversation that keeps coming up because I keep not understanding no matter how many times she explains it to me. This started about 6 years ago when she told me she had 105% in one of her classes. I told her that was the stupidest thing I have ever heard. How can you have more than 100%? She less than calmly tried to explain it to me in terms I did not hear because they were ridiculous and made no sense so I walked away. Later, perhaps months or years, it came up again and this time she explained it in terms I could better understand: she told me that 100% was the pizza and the extra credit was the pepperoni. Ok, now I kind of get it.
At no point did it really matter if I understood this concept, but for some reason it still keeps coming up and I just can’t let it go. Now she’s in college and the other day we were talking and it came up again, but more like reminiscing about all the times she tried to teach me about extra credit and I didn’t understand, so she explained it yet again, but I still don’t follow the logic – there is ALL of something and then SOME of another thing but there can’t be more than ALL of one thing. Then she blocked me. (Not really. She asked me for ice cream money after she finished telling me how much of an adult she was, but I’ll save that for another blog.) So, obviously extra credit is a real concept and my inability to understand it doesn’t affect its validity.
I realize now that wisdom has less to do with knowledge and more to do with a posture of humility when it comes to life. I will never know everything. I am not always right. There is more than one way to solve a problem. If I had told my younger self these truths, she would have at the very least rolled her eyes, but older me knows that it’s ok not to have all the answers. What truly matters is having a relationship with the One who does.
Pointing others to Christ is the main purpose of believers. I have been guilty of acting in ways unbecoming of a daughter of the King, yet He still loves me. If this is true for me, it’s true for all of us. How many chances do we get to have our slate wiped clean? As many as it takes, and all we have to know is who Christ is and believe that His death paid the price we should have paid. He meets us where we are and transforms us to His image as we go. Perfection is unattainable for all of us. Instead we walk with our Creator as He makes us more and more like Him, inviting people to Him naturally as they witness the transforming power that could only be explained by the act of selfless obedience displayed on a cross thousands of years ago.
Roasted Peanuts 