“Raising kids is like being pecked to death by ducks”. Mom gave me a wooden plaque with that saying on it a long time ago and the longer I was a mom, the more I related. I once heard someone say being a parent is both the worst and the best thing you’ll ever do, and that also resonates.
Who among us has ever had to decode “toddler”? For days little 18 month old Addison would go to the freezer and ask “Mama, Schlockop?” Sometimes I got it right, but I had no idea what she was saying. When I got it wrong there was a full scale melt down. Eventually I put the wins together and realized she was saying “popsicle”.
For two weeks I wondered, “Why is Ayden throwing himself on the ground in a fit of rage after I get him dressed sometimes but not every time?” It turned out that zipping his pants before I buttoned the waist was deeply infuriating and 2 year olds don’t have the language skills to explain such things.
Avery was a whole crash course in advanced preschool translation. It felt really special to be the only person who knew what he was saying (mostly). His kindergarten teacher called me a few times for help understanding what he meant. I really should have added “bilingual” to my resume.
Aubrey walked and talked freakishly early – like gave creepy weird Chucky Doll vibes. But she still had her own words for things that I had to use my detective skills to figure out. One of them was when she cried and yelled “Ernie!!” when the big kids got on the bus for school. Eventually I figured out that she meant Ayden. Sorry Addison and Avery. She loved you too, but you didn’t ride her around on her tricycle at warp speed crashing into walls like he did, which apparently she interpreted as love. (Although we would later find out that while I’m sure love was involved, little sister was the subject of several unauthorized science experiments.)
Ironically as parenthood goes on, the frazzled attempt at keeping small humans safe morphs into a much less obvious territory featuring emotions, and lots of them. My boys became tough guys, sometimes angry, often unpredictable when it came to needing mom and wanting space, which, if you have sons, you understand the tug of war between letting them become independent men and wanting to fix everything for them.
The same is true in a different way for daughters; the emotions are similar, but instead of the external display of rage or affection, they internalize and calculate with the sole purpose of pure emotional wreckage or the deepest level of adoration. If you don’t have daughters, you’re really missing out on a 5-7 year period of what can only be described as “insight into the asylum”.
Walking the path of parenthood is the most humbling experience of my life. My children do not belong to me, they belong to God. I am only a steward, and when it boils down to it my singular goal was and is to lead them to Christ. That’s it. Wealth, health, prosperity…it’s all worthless without a relationship with Jesus.
As we approach Mother’s Day, of course I always think about my own mom, who has been gone almost 7 years now, but whose impact on my life lives on in so many ways. She was a person who truly knew her children and met us where we were. She set such a great example of the importance of relationship that lives in her children and grandchildren today. Her love was a direct result of her mom who understood the importance of the one Relationship that makes all the other relationships possible. I was blessed to be an heir of that legacy and it has guided all of us in countless ways.
Mom also had a really great sense of humor. One day we were cleaning out the attic and I saw something I liked so I asked her if I could have it when she died. The other adult in the room got offended, which made us laugh even more, because she knew her sick sense of humor would live on. This is why I put seasonally appropriate hats on her tiny urn. It’s what she would have wanted. She was funny, cool, beautiful inside and out and had a capacity for loving others I strive to emulate daily.
So Happy Mother’s Day to all the other moms and mom figures out there! Lead those entrusted to your care to the foot of the Cross and you will have done the single most important thing you could ever do for another person.
Roasted Peanuts 